I condemn Erik Ayala
It’s not often that I find myself living literally in the backyard of the nation’s most tragic shooting incident. Last Saturday in Portland, Erik Ayala, 24, took out an Italian-made Tanfoglio 9mm pistol and open fired on a group of mostly high school exchange students. The shots killed two, a 16 year-old local girl and a 17 year-old exchange student, and wounded seven others, two critically. After firing nine rounds, Erik put the gun to his head and shot himself. Erik is listed in critical condition.
This incident strikes close to home. I’ve eaten at the restaurant where just outside, Erik started shooting and attempted suicide. My house sits in the same school district attended by six of the victims. As a young person, I used to go to that night club, though it had a different name back then (the name escapes me at the moment). I’ve walked that same area multiple times on a Saturday night and would’ve never thought that a shooting could occur there.
The shooter was considered a quiet young man, mostly depressed about not finding steady employment and obsessed with video games. In particular, he was a fan of Left 4 Dead, the first person shooter that pits you against a swarm of zombie opponents. It’s also been reported that in a make shift will, Erik left his most treasured possession, a Playstion 3 game console, to his roommate. Clearly, video games were an important part of his life.
Mere hours after the shooting was reported, people tried to make sense of the tragedy. The obvious scapegoat: the violent video games favored by the shooter. These were a couple of the messages left on The Oregonian message board in response to the shooting:
Parent, do something worthwhile. Remove all first-person shooter video games from our home. This was yet another addicted player of zombie massacre games, just like the kid in Virginia. These games make killing seem like fun. Obviously he was lost in the fantasy, thinking the kids at the rave club were zombies. Do us all a huge favor and stop these shooter games now. The government won’t do it. It’s up to you, parents. Stop using video games to keep the kids busy while you live your own lives. Be parents and start paying attention to what they are filling their heads with!
How many hours of shooting zombies, day in, day out, does it take before a kid is brainwashed? Are there some people who can not separate a game from the real world? How many more people have to die before these questions are answered by qualified behavioral psychologists?
These two comments didn’t reflect the majority of the commentators who blamed the incident more on the accessibility of firearms rather than the supposed psychological effect of playing violent video games. However, I’m pretty sure that many people had similar thoughts as details surfaced about the shooter’s background, and in particular, his hobbies.
Pictures of the two slain students. They don't look anything like 2D zombies. My prayers go out to their families.
At times like these, I feel that it is appropriate to point out that the great vast majority of people who play video games do not condone or commit acts of violence. Video game players know the difference between shooting a pixelized representation of a zombie on a 2D screen versus firing a real firearm and shooting a live human being. I can tell you from my own personal experience that firing a real live weapon is significantly different - you feel the recoil, smell the scent of the bullet discharging and even the weight of the gun in your hand. That experience is very different than hitting the A button and firing a shotgun shell at a 2d zombie. I know that I’m going on about this in detail, but I feel that I have to be a bit pedantic in this situation. I want to make it clear: video game players know the difference between real life and fiction. It is easy to make the distinction.
I am going on about this in some length because as a video game player, I feel it is my obligation to point out that not all of us are deranged individuals that will go off like a time bomb after being exposed to the supposed brainwashing that video games can give us. I’ve seen large majorities who stay silent when terrorist activities performed by the members of their tribe, religion or ethnic group make international news. These majorities don’t condone and may even strongly oppose members of their group who perform terrorism. However, by staying silent, it gives the impression that these majorities either tacitly agree or do not oppose the terrorist actions of the minority who perform them.
I don’t want to give that impression. I want to make it very clear that I not only condemn the actions of Erik Ayala, but anyone who uses video games as an excuse to carry out any sort of violence. The excuse is flimsy. And as a fellow video game player, I will not let you get away in using it.
So to repeat my stance one more time:
Erik Ayala, I condemn both you and your actions. I don’t know what caused you to perform such an act of infamy, but I will not allow you to use video games as an excuse for your actions. Your actions ended the lives of two young people and hurt countless others. If you survive your suicide attempt, I hope that justice is very stern and you reap all the tragedy that you have sown. If you die, then I hope God is fairer to you than you were to your victims (I very much doubt, you’ll be meeting God…get used to being hot).
My hopes and prayers go out to the families of the victims and those few who are still fighting for their lives in intensive care.
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If you knew Eric Ayala, you wouldn’t condemn him… you’d feel the weight of this tragedy on his family, and you’d wonder why you (like everyone else) failed to see anything like this coming from him. Contrary to your blog, Eric Ayala never used video games as an excuse for what he did. He never gave any reason at all. None of us understand anything more than that, for some reason, Eric gave up hope on life. The connection to video games is one brought to the forefront by the American press, looking for an explanation for why young people keep killing each other with guns in the United States. I grew up in Keizer, but now live in Canada. When I go into the United States now, I can literally feel the violence. Yet the same video games are played on both sides of the border. This issue of young people going on shooting rampages has a different causation, and it lies somewhere in American-specific culture. I am also an acquaintance of the Ayala family. Eric’s younger sister has been one of my daughter’s best friends. Eric drove me daughter and his sister around all last summer (in the car that was his real prized possession). Eric’s parents and siblings are some of the most kind people I’ve ever met in my life, and I feel terrible about what has happened - that they have lost their loving son, and that if they hadn’t have lost him people like yourself would see that he was punished severely, instead of trying to understand why this happens in America so often, to so many young people. Of course, I feel terrible for the young women who were shot as well, the two who were so tragically killed, and their families. I also think that people from other countries should think twice about sending their children to the United States as exchange students. Clearly, something is terribly wrong there.
So much for speaking your mind… I see my earlier comment has been erased.
Okay, perhaps it’s just awaiting moderation
@Ryan -
First off, I apologize for the delay. I do appreciate your feedback.
With that said, it is tough to be sympathetic to someone who has killed two teenagers. I don’t think I’m out of line by condemning his behavior and even condemning him as a person. I agree with you that video games should not be used as an excuse to commit unspeakable crimes. I also agree that the effect of video games are magnified by the American press. That was the point of my post, that millions of people play video games without ill effect at all.
We won’t know what Erik’s motivations are unless he survives and can tell us. What I don’t want to hear from him, if he’s able to tell us his motivations, is that video games made him do it. That’s silly, and as a fellow video game player (and I play a lot), I don’t buy it.
As to your point that America is a violent country, that’s something that’s tough to argue against. The accessibility of guns, the glamorization of violence (in just about all media) are problems in this country. However, I don’t think you can generalize the violence of a country based on a single act, no matter how horrific. Perhaps tens of thousands of exchange students visit here every year without incident.
I’m not generalizing based on a single act. I’m generalizing based on a whole series of similar acts undertaken by young people in the United States over the past decade. Geez, Michael Moore made a movie about it and everything. The same unexplainable syndrome continues.
Just on a bit of a comparative note, having grown up in Keizer, and now having lived in Alberta for more than a decade, I know that suicide among the youth of our global culture is a shared phenomenon. In the United States, however, this often takes on a different face - one that involves the random killing of others as well.
Eric will never be able to tell us what happened, will never be able to give us any clues. Eric died earlier today.
One could turn to the depressed and suicidal living gunmen of America, and ask them why? But I suspect they don’t even know why. I couldn’t perceive the air of violence and paranoia I was living in while growing up there. Only now, as someone who has got out of it for a few years, can I sense it more clearly. This was not Eric’s problem alone. It was not just his parents, or upbringing, or - as you’ve indicated - simplistic rationalizations about the influences of games, movies, music, etc. It is, in my opinion, a social problem of the United States. And until the citizenry are ready to face their denial, I fear the paranoia and violence will only continue to escalate there.
I was there when it happened. I was walking into the Irish Pub at the time. It was my first time there because I live out of state. I was standing by the doorway showing the doorman my ID when the shots started, and I went straight through the door after I saw a girl get hit and fall backwards. It was the most horrible thing I’ve ever seen. It just wasn’t real in my mind until I saw that.
I’m a gun owner and an avid gamer. I like the Battlefield series of games and still play BF2 online. I think an argument can be made that playing FPS games can help you think and react quickly. In a game like BF2, that’s what you have to do, especially when someone is shooting at you and you don’t know where they are. You learn quickly that, in BF2, you want to get some cover quickly until you can sort out what is going on. Running into a building is a good option. Staying where you are or running into the open is a bad option. Anybody that plays FPS games knows these things.
It’s funny how the bias of most non-gamers is that video games teach you how to shoot people. They don’t see it from the point of view that you learn how to react and avoid a shooter, too.
BTW, the best thing to do in that sort of situation is to get away because you don’t know what’s going on. You don’t know who is shooting or why, or how many shooters there are, or which way they are moving. You don’t know if there are two shooters working together a la Columbine, or if there are two people shooting at each other or it could be a drive-by. You have no idea because you have no way of knowing that information until you read about it in the paper. When it’s happening, you have seconds to make a decision, react and not make any mistakes. You have no control over who is shooting. You only have control over deciding your escape route, if there is one. You have no idea what kind of gun he has or how many rounds. You have no idea if he knows how to shoot and reload quickly. The amount of information you don’t know is unlimited.
When you’re playing BF2 and another player shoots at you, you can tell which weapon he’s using so you know what character he’s playing and you know what weapons he has access too. In real life, you don’t have a clue.
Apparently, he shot himself in the head right by the entrance to the pub, which is where I was at when it started. He still had 4 bullets left. I didn’t know he was going to move there, but I knew to move and get away. The best thing to do when someone is shooting at you, in real life or in a game, is to move and keep moving and find cover as quickly as you can. The worst thing to do is to stay still or stay in the open.
The_Pacifist.
Also, I should say that the podium in the above drawing should be facing the lamp. The podium should be at the far (i.e. left) corner of the entranceway that the lamp is blocking. I was between the podium and the lamp when the shots started. I believe I didn’t start moving until I saw the girl go down at 2. I believe that the manager of the pub was to my left talking to the doorman behind the podium. I believe the manager moved from the building to look down the sidewalk to see what was happening, but I could be wrong. I’m just guessing about this, but it’s about the only thing that makes sense because he was to my left.
The_Pacifist.
@Pacifist -
The drawing was from the article in the Oregonian. I included it because despite its faults, it gives you a sense of how roughly everything happened.
My goodness you were right there. The manager of the pub, according to the Oregonian, was shot in the stomach and is in intensive care.
I hope you are doing okay. I have been fortunate enough to never see someone go down after being shot. It freaks me out enough that I’ve probably walked in front of Kell’s dozens of times and know pretty well the scene of the incident.
Yeah, I saw that drawing before too and just thought I’d mention the difference I noticed. Before I saw the drawing on Monday, I thought he shot himself in the head down the street at the other side of The Zone. I didn’t realize that he did it right by the doorway.
I really hope the manager and everyone else is ok. The people that work at that bar were extremely composed and helpful in that stressful time. The door guy stayed out there and so did the manager; that’s bravery in my book. The door guy had half the cards from my wallet in his hand afterwards, but he gave them back. I have no idea how he got them. He must have reactively grabbed them. I guess if you work there, you probably feel like you have a duty to protect your customers, and they did. It’s different for an out of towner because you don’t know the area or the layout of any of the buildings, and you don’t know if this is a common occurence. I’m hoping it isn’t in Portland because I like visiting that city.
I overheard someone say that she had just dropped off those students and I keep wondering what would have happened if they wouldn’t have been there. Would he have kept walking up the street (i.e. 2nd avenue) towards the Irish Pub and started shooting at people there? That place was packed.
The one thing that bothers me is I don’t know if the girl that I saw is one that died or one that was wounded. I remember she had a white jacket on, and I think she had blond hair. From within a minute of it happening, I was trying to recall her hair color, and I kept seeing blond. From the pictures I see, though, the girls that died had dark hair. Maybe the pictures are old and they changed their hair color. I have no idea. The girl from Italy looks like she has blond hair, so maybe it was her. I’m confident the girl I saw get shot was wearing a white jacket, though.
The_Pacifist.
I was friends with Erik in middle school and part of high school. All we did was play video games together. I wish we would have kept in touch.
R.I.P. Erik
Hey, G.V., what was he like? I’m just really curious to know. You can e-mail me privately, if you like.
The_Pacifist.
@The Pacifist
He was a funny guy, also smart. He played the clarinet back then. He had no basketball skills but it was ok because he was taller than everyone else. His favorite band at the time was Nirvana. His favorite game was Zelda: A Link To The Past.
Story has been updated here: http://www.netharuka.com/games/police-not-pursuing-video-game-link/
Portland Police has decided not to pursue the video game link as a cause for the shooting. However, anti-game activist are still trying to pin video games as a cause.
I know that this comment is late because i just heard this tragedy recently. Erik was a friend of mine in high school and he struggled alot with life in general. It is horrible what he did and my thoughts and prayers go out to the families of the people he hurt and killed. HI have to say that for him video games was a way to pass the time.. he kknew the differece between reality and fiction very well. all i can say iss it is a tragedy for the families he hurt as well as for his familiy as well. I spent some time with them and they are loving people.. Im sorry to the families and to his family i hope that strength and peace has found you all.